Tuesday, February 28, 2006

So tired and this entry is very disorganised.

I met up with the Pig yesterday to revise some school work, after such a bloody long time not meeting up (for just the two of us). How romantic, right? Haha.. Anyway she has that "Posh Girl" look that i wish i could have, but naaah i guess it won't suit me.

What "posh girl" look? Alah.. I can't really explain it, but it just smells of money. hahaha :p

Oh wells, at least i don't get hit on by Ah Bengs. We were leaving Delifrance when this group of Ah Beng-ish looking basketballers started Cat-calling in her direction. And urgh, they really were the typical cheena boys. As in Cheena Chinese?

I have nothing against Chinese men, but i do have a thing against cheena Chinese men :/ K i don't think i'm making sense cuz it's like 12am and i'm half zonkered out. Nyeah. But yeah. I don't like Cheena Chinese men. I do, however, like guys who look like this:


Haha! He's the trombonist of Comic Strip, i know. And thanks to Nassy, i too know that he already has a girlfriend. So if you're his girlfriend, i'm sorry but i'm just using him as a reference ok? Haha..

So anyway i derived to this conclusion upon sitting for the 3hours to-and-fro journey to repair my iPod at Ang Mo Kio today. Sitting at the last cabin always makes good eye-washing activities. Wakakaka! So er back to the point..

Lean guys in black polo shirts with tanned skin and hair something like the above makes me go ooohlalaaaah~ AND it is a very major plus point if they can play instruments :)


As i was saying, i got my lazy bum off the chair and headed to Ang Mo Kio to send the dreaded iPod for repair. This was the conversation that ensued when the lady behind the counter saw me:


WAHAHHA. Shits man, damn malu. I told you i went for iPod repairs like a million times already. Nyeah. How come other people don't have that much problems with their iPods? :(

And this is a bad picture of Xiu Li when she joined us during the study date yesterday:


Sorry babe. You didn't ask me to delete it, and i can't resist putting it up. Weheheh!

Do you know that alot of my friends are afraid of taking photos using my camera now? I wonder why :D


(Which means the password you have now CANNOT be used.. Haha.. If the entries are in "Private" then you can use that password ohkaayy :) Understood?)
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 11:49 PM

Monday, February 27, 2006

Back? That's fast.

Wahahaa. Anyway, i've figured out how to use Wordpress and therefore have set up a mostly password-protected blog there, for my personal stuff and for writings which are more.. erm.. controversial in nature? Haha..

I'll continue blogging on this platform as for now, cuz i'm still trying to figure out how to change blog templates over at Wordpress. However, as stated before, some entries will be done there so that i can actually control who reads them.

So if you're interested, just drop me an email/msn/sms and if i feel you can do no harm, i'll pass the password to you aight :)

The mostly password-protected blog:

Between the lines.
Oh by the way Rhino, your Birthday entry has been transferred there :) So worry no more!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:03 PM

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Civil Defence Telematch.

Note: The Saturday's outing entry with Rhino and Gang is the entry before this aight!


And so i woke up at 6-freaking-am in the morning to get to Choa Chu Kang on time to participate in the Civil Defence Telematch. At first, i was really quite dreading it uh. Like cacat like that right, so old and still want to participate in Telematch. haha! Furthermore, the other schools were like Secondary Schools and we were the only JC participating. Doink betol!




I think JJC's cheering is like well-known around the whole of Singapore seh. When the other schools were doing their own shit, us JJC-ians were screaming like lunatics cheering whichever team was competing at that point of time. Until even the Emcee said


Wahaha! Sibeh proud of my school, can? :D


And so we played the Telematch games with much gusto. Carrying bandaged victims (smiles big big) on stretchers, driving cars around, completing Jigsaw puzzles and sprinting to and fro like nobody's business. At the end of the whole thing, i have to admit it was the opposite of what i thought it would be.

That's right. I felt that it was actually fun. Kekekeke~ IN YOUR FACE, Faddy!


Wahahhaa! We won first prize, yessiree we did! Ek ah ek ah!! But sadly the prize money and trophy goes to the school uh. Wahaha. But oh well, all i did was cheer like mad, bandaged my arm and sit on a stretcher so i shouldnt complain much. Ahakz!~


Oh by the way, in case you're stuck in a lift, please remain calm, do not panic, press the alarm for 7 seconds and dial 1800-*insert some numbers here cuz i forgot*. Please remember not to lean/pry open the lift's door, as this will hamper the emergency mechanism from working properly. Thank you and have a nice day :D
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 2:59 PM

Saturday, February 25, 2006

Protected : Rhino's Bday Celebration.

(This entry CAN be read using that password i gave you guys aight.)
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:00 PM

Friday, February 24, 2006

ROAR!!

Faddy is pissed. Very, very pissed.

For the past few weeks, my iPod has been going cuckoo for abso-fuckin-lutely no reason whatsoever; skipping songs, cutting tracks halfway, frozen screen, having no ability to update my newly acquired photos and songs etc.. I held on, still giving thanks that the piece of shit (which ironically, i love alot) could still blast songs into my ear.


Since i had free time on my hands today, i went to the Apple's Support website, and decided to give their 5Rs (which, i quote, "These fast fixes will solve most problems with your iPod and get you up and rockin' in no time.") a shot.

I redownloaded iTunes (all 30something Mb of it) and the latest iPod updater. I tried plugging the thing into ALL the free usb ports i had. And when the computer STILL could not locate my iPod, i decided to try reset the bloody thing. And theeeenn...


ROAR!! Now i can't even turn that stupid thing on!! Boohoohoo. This is like the 5th time i've to repair my iPods? Talk about bad luck, dudes! It's not like i don't take care of the delicate piece of machinery ok? Just ask my family and friends how many layers of protection i use..


I actually wanted to do something equivalent to that in my fit of anger/frustration. Hurhurhur.


But then i realise that's just plain dumb since my iPod is still under warranty (thank God). But do you realise i've to travel all the way to Ang Mo Kio to get that thing fixed?!


My butt will prolly fall off the MRT seat by the time i reach Woodlands, much less Ang Mo Kio. Urgh. Pray for me that miraculously my iPod decides to be nice and work smoothly again by tonight, or pray for me that someone doesn't mind accompanying me to Amk tomorrow or Sunday or something.. Sigh~

* * * * *
I dug up some of my recent pictures, and found this atrocious thing:


SEE?! I do take photos in other poses then the usual tilted head, but they all end up something like this. Which is precisely why they don't end up on the World Wide Web for the world (doh) to see. This is the first and last, thank you :) Consider yourself previledged. Haha..

I'm letting off my fume by writing this super long entry with many many colorful photos whilst making myself smile and laugh at the same time. So bear with me. Hehehe..


I stuck to resolution number 3 in "Faddy's List of Things to Achieve", which is to stop ponning (skipping) lessons. After disappearing from Mdm Koh's class since the beginning of the year (where one of the reasons i gave to account my disappearance was "I died" hahah!), i finally decided to step back in and start bucking up.

45 mins into the lesson:


15 mins later, my head lolls all over the place. Bwahaha. Hopeless case, i tell you.

Aight, i guess it's time for my dinner and my sleep. So much homeworks to tackle for tonight! Goodday, world! I'll prolly edit and add more stuff tonight since it's Friday and i'll surely have much free time. YAY!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 4:58 PM

Thursday, February 23, 2006

JJ politics sucks.

For all of you who have "heard stories", make sure you get your facts right. An opinion or an accusation isn't a fact, for your information.

Why can't the J2s be more mature? I mean it's not even 3 months that the J1s have been in the school and you've already stirred up such a situation. If respect from them is what you want, then you should respect them first. Haven't you heard that phrase somewhere? :/

I hope Fizah and the rest can stay strong through all this shit :) It'll die off soon, InsyaAllah. This ain't no Hollywood and you prolly might not get a happy reunion, but keep in mind, (as extracted from GPA script.)


Wehehe. Damn i love quoting bits and pieces from that GPA script. Heh.

Anyway i was reading Izyan's blog and i realised that it's perfectly normal how i'm feeling right now, especially since it IS afterall the 23rd :) Makes me feel so much better, really. Come on Faddy, refill your empty tank and leave the petrol station whenever you're ready!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 3:29 PM

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

It's a Wednesday.

I spent the day dragging my body everywhere as i felt so darn tired :/ Nyeah. Had to rush home after school to unload at the toilet where i then crashed SP again to get my homeworks done. Boring day, ey?

Well, i did chance upon Yat (an old friend) on the way home. It's a nice feeling having "funny conversations" (as quoted by him) once again with someone who's left an impression in your life. Haha.. That bugger had the cheek to say that he felt like he's talking to a young kid, when in reality i'm like only a year younger? Chet! Nice haircut by the way, bro :)

Something is just bringing me down these days. I feel so insanely tired. Blearrrgh. Can't wait for the weekend where i get to meet up with the CSS mates after an insanely long time apart as well as participate in some Civil Defence Telematch on Sunday.


Sure as you said that you loved me you turned me away. Suddenly everything changed right in front of my face. They say sometimes love's just unfair, but why's it at my expense? I've no answers and I have no defence..

I guess I'll never understand, how love can come and go. Looking through the broken glass now I know. But even though my bitter doubt lets my loneliness show, I will get over, over you in the end..

posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:14 PM

Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Virgin Trip to SP.

I had the most bad-ass menstruation cramp EVER in the morning (and i'm so not exagerrating) which left me half-crippled and writhing in pain this morning. So i couldn't get to school. Nyeah. Since by 11am the pain has eased off after i popped a few pills, i decided to make use of my day instead of staying at home (which prolly means being online from dawn to dusk). Rang up Kimmy and TADAAA ended up here:


Hehehe! I was so excited lah since it was my virgin trip there. So loser right? Wahaha. Anywhoos, reached there and started reading through my notes straightaway as Kimmy and his friends were mugging as they're having a huge test tomorrow. Good luck aight~

After a while Fara called to inform me that she was nearing SP and that she needed me to pass her her thumbdrive. And so kimmy and I walked down the huuugee hill and somehow after laughing at each other as we inserted flowers and leaves into my hair,


My 7600's back cover fell into the drain! Chitot! If it was like any other phone cover, you can just get another cover easily kan? But 7600 is fuckin vintage so you can't find the original cover like ANYWHERE, even at the Nokia Care Centre. So after passing the thumbdrive to Fara (who has to go hospital tomorrow thanks to the Renu Eye Infection thing), we scurried back to the drain armed with branches.


We were quite a sight, crouching over the drain laughing like some mad asses whilst poking branches inside trying to get the stupid cover out. Banglas who were repairing the road and other students walking past were very amused lah, that's all i can say :D

We even sat down and tried to strategise using paper clips lah, threads lah.. haha. It was freaking hilarious! And then...


YAY! Sure the stupid thing has like 10 million more scratches, but at least my 7600 is not more cacat then it was before. Eesh. Now the side covers are missing, if i had lost that back cover too.. eesh! Confirm must get new phone already. Hahaha...


They showed me around the campus, where all the foodcourts are and stuff. Oh my god the food is so cheap can?! Like urgh! Its like $1.60 for a plate of Nasi Lemak with SO much stuff added and $2 for a plate of Chicken Rice which is like SOOOO delicious. I think the Rasa Sayang stall makcik at JJC is earning so much money at my expense. Cheat my feelings only! haha..


Thus we studied till around 9pm where i had to rush home. The mother didn't mind me hanging out with Kimmy till late (I dono why but she likes him ah. Everytime i say i'm with him, she doesn't really question where i am and what time i'll get home etc. Chet. If only she knows that our Kimmy is now all grown up and is no longer the innocent boy she knows. Wahahah!!), but i didn't wanna cross the line, you see?


Ah see Faddy has all grown up and is starting to think like an adult :) No longer the irrational child she once was. Wehehe! Ok thats it about today. On a sidenote, i loike Kimmy's friends! Specially Syaz. Think this is the start of a new friendship. Wahaha...

Anywhooooos, I find that Renu thing very irritating lah! It's been only 2 days that i've had my wonderful new eyes and since i've been soaking it in the Renu solution, now i'm like so freaking scared to put it on. Urgh. No more huge round brown eyes for faddy :(

On a totally irrelevent topic altogether, Ayie (a friend from the past) says that i take ALL my photos in the same pose. Chet. Serious ah? :/
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:46 PM

Monday, February 20, 2006

A moment of self love, please. [Edited]

Eh ok lah i know you guys are going "Oh My God this girl has no shame whatsoever!!", but seriously i think i look better then usual today :D


BWAHAHAH! I finally managed to get some sort of the fringe that Pig has and my new contact lenses are making my pupils so biiiiig and rooound and brrowwwnn! Hehehe. My eyes got commented a couple of times throughout the day by random JJCians (NOT counting close friends). So happy can?

And when i got home, the first thing the brother said when he opened the door was,


And i (being shameless) said,


And then he went,


Wahahhaa! Ok i lied. He went "Puke puke puke!" but we all know that's sibling talk for "Very much prettier". -Cough- Ok lah i think that's enough for the day :p I really hope i can get the same fringe tomorrow :)

Btw i took Nassy's advise and started my day looking into the mirror (new hair and eyes and all wahaha) whilst singing that "I am beautiful" song by Christina Aguilera and DAMN i spent my whole day smiling to myself cuz i feel soooo gooooood about myself. Wahahaha!


I'm adamant on getting better, i suppose. Made up a list of things that i want to achieve (which i've blurred out since its kinda private) and have already kickstarted some of them :) InsyaAllah.

[edited @ 9:40pm]

I just got off the phone with Atikah totot my Sec School best friend. Actually i predicted the call to be kinda awkward and will last a maximum of 15 minutes, but it lasted way over an hour. Hahaha. So much things to catch up on! I've missed so much of her life lah. Am sad over the news of one of her family members, but yeah. Will pray for that member :)


[/edited]

Next few paragraphs are all about JJ politics :) You've been warned.

World War III has commenced in the school, now between Nina and a J1 whom i've chatted a few times with. So according to the J1, Nina started it first. And according to Nina, the J1 started it first. What's new kan? In this kind of matters, noone wants to be potrayed as the evil one. And then it snowballed into such a huge thing until Nina's boyfriend and the girl's aunt Godmother was involved.

Eeyer. I think very childish, can? Why can't everyone freaking get along, or even if they don't like each other, keep it to themselves lah! Why must bitch here bitch there bitch bitch everywhere?!

And so I called Nina's boyfriend over (in a rather rude way, i suppose. Which, of course is my mistake. So Nina's boyfriend, i apologise. Someone direct this apology to him aight.) and Fara had a talk with him since Fara too got entangled in the mess. So between the three of us we kinda talked it out, and i really hope that something good will come out of that talk instead of it being more bitching juice :/


posted by Nur Fadhilah at 7:05 PM

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Sunday mornings are the hardest to forget.

After 3 months of not meeting up with Nassy, Kimi and I finally had the chance to do so as the three of us needed to get some schoolwork done. Nassy had to complete her cereal box cum frame (what ARE they learning at NAFA? hahaha), Kimi had to study for his exams and I, I think it's time i push away all the shits in my head and get back to studying cuz i'm lagging like nobody's business :p


Ok lah, granted we did chat and joke around alot since the three of us have not met up collectively for the past 3 months. Kan very spoiler if we meet, say hi and bury ourselves in our books and then miss out on each other's lives for the next 3 months again?

I think i know why i was feeling very emotional the past few days. PMS!! Haha. It came early this month. Like.. today?.. I was feeling wet (stop your dirty minds, people!) so i decided to head to the toilet only to find.. well the thing you should find when you are caught off-guard having your period :) And so i went back and asked Nassy very softly if she had some pads... and then..

Nassy: "What Faddy? You need pads?"

Kimi: "What?! Faddy has her period?!"

Nassy: "Yeah!! Faddy has her period!!"

Kimi: "Ding Dong Ding Dong!! Attention!! Does anyone have menstrual pads as my friend here just discovered she has her period!!"

Faddy: "Shut up lah!!"

Nassy: "You can use my pencil box.. It's made of sponge! Absorbant material!!"

Kimi: "Or my laptop bag!! It's the same material but bigger!!"

Please read WITH the exclamation marks. Haiyo. So embarrasing. Haha. I think for the few hours we were there, the people around us were like eavesdropping on our conversation lah :/ To the extent that one girl had to run away to laugh when Nassy was showing and describing her jeans which had ripped at the crotch area.


During the breaks we had, we had talks regarding our future and the idiocies that we're up to these days. Typical teenager issues lah. Parents, studies, bgr and devil-ish temptations (he he he).


I hope you guys had a great weekend, cuz mine went really well thanks to my friends :) And school starts tomorrow. Urgh!! Two tests.. of which the materials to be tested were taught during my zoning out period. Kinda expect to fail both. Nyeah :/
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 9:13 PM

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Gema Puisi Artistik Full!

Ok to answer to some of your questions. The GPA event that i've been rambling about this past few weeks actually stands for Gema Puisi Artistik. It's basically an event that requires students from Secondary Schools, Junior Colleges and Polytechnics to write up a poem which serves as an advise to teenagers, and then act it out as creatively as possible.

So this is the first time that JJC is participating in the event. Although we didn't manage to qualify for the finals, i have to say we did a bloody good job, especially counting the fact that it was our first time and we had not much help whatsoevers.














Yup so those are the 7 characters involved. Did you know that it was only on the night before the event that we found out that there had to be songs in our drama? Panic level at the highest i tell you! Which of course explains why of all songs, we used the introduction of "Pinggiran Aidilfitri" as an accompaniment. Hahaha.


These two were supposed to cut it off before the singer actually sang, but due to some technical difficulties, the lyrics "Bergema suara..." can be heard, so the audience continued singing on. Wahaha. What theeee~ Other then that the whole performance was top grade in my eyes, and i felt that it was much better then all the rehearsals we had :)








I guess the JJ malay society will forever remain camwhores. Whilst the other schools were busy reciting their lines while waiting to perform, we were taking photos in abundance. Wahaha! It was a great way to soothe the PADAMPAMPAM of our heartbeats lah. Damn nerve wrecking i tell you!






And the same thing happened when we were having our break. When other students were eating, the huge lot of us (the performers with the J2 and J1 supporters) kept taking one photo after another. Heeeheee. So fun!






And then those are the pictures in the theatre itself whilst waiting for the results. Hoho! Click Click Clickety Click!




Lost but NOT defeated, the group kept their smiles pasted on their faces, and we headed on to have dinner at Jurong Point's Banquet. Initially, i wanted to get home asap as the mum has been in her PMSy mood this few days and i don't want to aggravate the situation further. But after much persuasion, i decided "What the hell." and went eating. Wahaha. Didn't regret it one bit, as for the first time ever, i talked quite alot with Faizal and Juli. Heh. Made new friends!


It was already 9pm by the time we were done, so i rushed back home... only to find out that i'm locked out of the house as the parents and brothers were at the grannie's place and would only be back by 11pm. And so i rang up Kim, and we had supper together :) Oh and we went hoohaaahooohaaa after that. aahha. Dont bother figuring out what that word means :p

Eh you guys must try the desert "Red Ruby" hor! It's really, really damn nice. I think i might get some more tonight hurhurhur.

And so i have to say Saturday was one of the funnest days i've had for the past 2 weeks. I did some rethinking of the things i've done, the advises the friends gave, the way we are... and i really hope i can get my life moving back on track smoothly :) STAY STRONG, BITCH! Wahahahhaa.

Oh by the way,


Wahahha. And a HUGE shoutout to Ain, a blogger-friend whom i met for the first time yesterday thanks to GPA! Weehooo!! Pass me the pic we took, babe! (Although i looked horrible).

Meeting up with Kim and Nassy to study together-gether later!! Yay!!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 11:58 PM

Gema Puisi!!

Nyeahhh. We did not manage to get into the top 10. Haha.. But truthfully, i wasn't that disappointed cuz i know we gave the best we could and after sneaking into the theatre and watching other plays, i too realised that our minimalist idea wasn't what the judges were looking for. Wakakaka. Nevertheless, i did have lots of fun and i have no regrets!

Since most of the nice photos are with Momo (ass i know you're reading this so if you still haven pass em to me, pass em NOW), i shall just leave you with one prelude :)


Wahaha! I love his Makeup, man. Anywhoos, my mum is evil. The first thing i said when i got home was


And you know what she said?


(Insert string of expletives here.) You tell me how can i not be pissed with her? Urgh. Why can't she accept the fact that i love all this drama stuff?


:/ I tell you eh. The day when she accepts my so-called "artsy" side, will be the day i will be willing to help out wholeheartedly at her shop. Hohoho! Aight im falling asleep on the keyboard. Nights!

Lengthy updates with millions of pictures and text soon!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 11:57 PM

Friday, February 17, 2006

Losing it.

Type. Delete. Type. Delete. Type. Delete. Type Type Delete Delete.

I've been doing that for the past 30 minutes. Words just can't describe how i'm feeling at this moment. The mum's screaming, shouting and banging stuff all over the place is driving me to the brink of losing my mind. A mind, if i may add, which is already full to the brim with a million and one issues that need handling asap. (Fuck you if you're rolling your eyes thinking i'm talking about Faris. You don't know whats on my mind so don't make conclusions.)

I wish i could go to bed tonight and not wake up tomorrow. Or any other day, for that matter. Cuz i just don't see how i can get out of this mess i got myself in.

I just wanna inform you that i might be password protecting this blog soon. You know the drill if you want the password just in case i decide to go ahead with the decision.

Oh by the way, how am i supposed to be feeling/acting again?..

:/ I don't see how i can be "acting happy" when i was really ok and happy 85% of the time last week. And thanks to the recent turn of events, i am now not ok, thank you very much.

Falalalala!~ Happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts happy thoughts.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 11:31 PM

Thursday, February 16, 2006

Happy Bday Rhino!

Another day full of emotional fluctuations i must say. Well, lets get down to business, shall we? :)

First and foremost, A "Happy Birthday" shoutout to my great friend, Ashrithaa D/O Rajah aka Rhinoooo!! Let's try that Flaming Lamborgini (however you spell it)!! Haha. That bitch is 18 now. Sooo many many more months till I turn 18. All plans on hold till then! hahah.. So anyway here's your small birthday present, until we meet up next Saturday :


Wakakaka! Rhino Winfrey. Gosh. (Inside joke between Rhino, Pig and I)

Ok so anyway, we had a full-dressed GPA rehearsal just now and it was a hell lot of fun, i tell you. Being able to rehearse on a real stage and with lightings and hearing your voice echoing - ahhh pure bliss. (although very nerve wrecking)


Cikgu Mardiana joined in the crap we did. haha. We even teased her when she kept showing us how to act like a couple.


She was a great help in stage movements and stuff and i guess we couldn't really pin the tail on the donkey if not for her. Thanks, Cikgu!






Sooo yeah. I'm rather happy with what we have today. -phew- It's about time, i tell you. Hahaha. Dear God, please let us perform with grace and let the audience understand what we're trying to convey. And if you're feeling really gracious, Dear God, please let us proceed to the next round. Amin. hehehee.



This is my blog, my diary and my only source of output for my feelings. I like to reflect on whatever i write and this is the reason as to why i potray emotions in abundance in my entries. It is through true words from the heart that i am able to see progression in how i've matured and evolved.

I don't believe in writing happy entries every single day when deep inside the pain still stings. I have to be strong every single second of the day - in front of friends, in front of family and even in front of the mirror. This is the only time where i can just sit down, and let me be me.

A friend once told me, don't let your feelings be suppressed, cuz one day it'll explode and consume you. And this is the only time i can let it flow naturally. This keyboard, this computer screen, this blog. Only through these mediums can i be brutally honest to myself. Cuz i don't have to worry what the machine will think, you see?

(Yah yah i have a number of readers including him, i know. But let them think what they think. And i shall let you guys think what you wanna think too. Cuz this is how i am. And this is how i'm growing up. And this honesty is what i want to read in years to come.)

Call me stupid, call me weak, call me a coward. I've heard you. Yes, it hurts but i've decided THIS is how i want my entries to be. I'm not like you girls. I'm not one who brushes things off in a mere second and then re-take the world by storm again. You have to understand that. I take a much longer time. And to me, revenge and pride isn't everything... I guess.

Haha. Okaaayysss. Night.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:55 PM

Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Just another day.

I leisurely woke up at what... 12pm today? Heehee. It's been so darn long since i actually had the time to wake up after 10am :) But i'm afraid it wasn't enough, as i still am feeling very exhausted at this moment. Hmm.. i think i need a vacation to some random island with nice beautiful beaches, with no threat of tsunamis etc. Wanna join me?


In a sense, i was late for school lah instead of absent. Really! Cuz i DID go to school but reached at approximately 4pm. Wehehe! Since i gave my word to Ady that i'd watch the match (and also because i was bored at home), i headed to school and didn't regret it one bit :)

The match against Tampines Junior College was by far the most exciting match i've ever watched in the past year. There were numerous goal attempts and slick moves by both sides (oh and not to mention a cute no. 14 and 19 from the away team). Wahaha! I personally think JJ could have won, but tough luck, no? Better luck next time guys! Faddy's supporting you all the way! :D

Oh by the way, i made a hasty decision to cut my hair since the long messy curly bangs were irritating the shit out of me. Oh my! That same aunty had cut my hair a tad too short again and now i look like i have a duck's tail at the back of my head. Hahaha... No pictures lah! Embarrass myself for what sia? :p


Fara tells me that she thinks i'm having an emotional breakdown and that it is affecting the way i behave ever since that incident. Wierdly enough, i myself have not noticed it since i've always thought i handled the situation quite well. I am very worried for myself now, truth be told. The future shrink thinks she needs to visit a shrink soon! :/


Just a few of the emotions that fluctuate through my mind every single moment of the day and it's killing me cuz i don't know which one to react to. Oh dear God. Please help me.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 9:38 PM

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Happy Vday. (Edited)

We had the GPA drama dry run at NYJC at Ang Bloody Mo Kio today, which lasted for what.. less then 10 freaking minutes? What the heeell. Spent more then 2 hours for the journey and we were shooed off the stage before we could even say our first lines.

I think we're like kinda screwed as our play needed moving spotlights and precise synchronised lights, which we of course couldn't rehearse properly as everything was sooo rushed at the dry run just now :/ Whateverrrr.

I did have much fun with the group though :) Having much revelry going on every single second. Whilst walking, in the mrt, in the bus, at LJS etc. Thanks guys for coming and i apologise that you had to sacrifice spending time with your laliinggss yeah.

I hope you had a great Valentine's Day, cuz mine sucked. I think this is my worse Vday ever lah :( The audio system in the canteen kept blasting bloody love songs which i've been avoiding for the past week and girls walking around carrying roses and teddy bears kept reminding me of my Vday last year with him... and i can't help but to feel so miserable.

And then i hear the nonchalance of the voice on the other end of the line :/ I think i shall retreat to the comforts of my bed.

Well at least i know i'm still laku. Weehehe! I kinda forgot the thrill of having someone ask you out for a date, so that incident serves as a good reminder. Hehehe. So... Yeah :)

And by the way, thanks for the tidbits, specially the chocolates :) The rush of endorphins perked me up quite a bit. Heh.

posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:32 PM

Monday, February 13, 2006

Boohoo hist essay sucks.

Eh quite true eh what Superman pointed out. I'm tired of school and yet i'm going to sign on as a teacher. Waddaaaa??! Haha. Shits, i told ya my life's a huge mess. Darn.

Anyway, I've a history essay to complete by tonight and my head's already lying on the keyboard. Heee. Super hopeless lah. So without further ado, enjoy this short photolog :)










So we FINALLY managed to come to a consensus on how we wanted the play to be acted out. Everything's mostly sorted out except for a small disagreement on how to conclude the play and the fact that it needs much ironing. So.. I'm quite excited really.

It's like i am seeing a faint light suddenly emerging. The fact that everyone is actually trying their very best to attend rehearsals (even sacrificing Valentines tomorrow, i tell you) and is actually giving their best during rehearsals makes me feel that we CAN salvage something good from all this last-minuteness. Weeeee!!

And no, Piggy. I'm not removing that cute picture of you with your chicken pox :)

Enjoy Valentine's Day tomorrow, dear friends. As for me, talk about bad timing. Heh.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:40 PM

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sundays with Kim.

(Its 11pm, i'm tired, very sleepy and harbouring a huge headache so pardon me if this entry is written in a very slipshod and scattered manner.)

Oh wait. Random picture time!


Must have been years since someone cleaned that fan. Haha. Eew. Ok so.. today.


Kim and I were greeted at Coffeebean by this man who was like sleeping SO heavily on the couch at one of the corners. His snores were like "SNORREEEEEE!!!" and all the patrons would like stare at him every few minutes cuz he even snored while reading the newspaper lah! hahaha. I hope i don't snore like that when i sleep sey :/


I am like soooo envious of the things Hakim are learning! When he was happily sketching a photo of a skateboarder (and later, me), i had to read like TONS of essays i tell you. Sucked balls. I am currently knocking myself in the head cuz i should have just signed up for NIE or something after my O's. I'm like SO tired of school. -waves white flag-


Oh yeah and as a result, he treated me to dinner at Banquet since his Poly mate, Atiqa, actually travelled all the way from Hougang just to eat the Claypot Chicken at Jurong Point. Wadabubba sia? That's what i call food crazy. yadayadayada so the three of us ate together and then we went homeee.


Thanks Kim for studying and crapping with me the whole of today :) Really, really appreciate it alot wei. And you better keep in mind the deal we made aight?


Oh by the way, we went to Paya Lebar. It seems to me, that no matter how much i try to run from the past, i can never really hide :( Sigh. I just don't know how much longer i can keep telling myself that it's for the best when deep inside i'm like... lonely and running on empty. So tired of having to keep myself busy. So tired of pushing away all stray thoughts and emotions. So tired of forcing myself to let go. I'm just so freaking tired and it's catching up on me. Homeworks are never done, i'm lagging in studies and... sigh.

No comments allowed regarding the previous paragraph, thank you.

posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:47 PM

Alieeenn!! [edited]

I chatted with Pig on the phone last night for an hour plus - the longest ever we've chatted for the past year. Oh wait. I think it's the ONLY phonecall for the past year? Wahahha! Oh well. It's never too late to make amends, i tell you. Never too late.

We did some catching up (although i think we can never catch up fully, as a year of missing news is freaaakinngg alot) and i guess it's safe to say that the "Alien" jokes are making a comeback, dammit.


For new readers, Pig and Rhino used to (and apparently, still are) call me "Alien" during the secondary school days, cuz i look looked weird and i have had weird hair as well as weird behaviour and weird.. well you get the picture ey? (Please note the choice of tense used).


Anywhoos, just got back from my solo morning jog. Wowweee! Such a nice weather lah. Very crisp. Ran a total distance of 6 bus stops. Not much uh, but my stamina still sucks so i guess i need to work on that. Heh.

The mozzies under my computer table are getting bolder by the minute! Sitting here for the past hour has given me 3 4 5 bites! Argh!!! -pauses to scratch- Argh!! I think they've just initiated "war" mode between the two species. -counts money in pocket to buy mozzie spray-

Out to study with Kimi later :) Apparently either at Changi Airport or the coffeebean at Expo or WestCoast Park. Errr... Wait. Cancel WcP :/ Too much memories there, i tell you. Both good and bad.

Ahh! Chicken McDodol! See lah, Faddy, your tangan so gatal you go press the link for that photobaldi and now you're upset yourself. Bleargh :(
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 7:22 AM

Saturday, February 11, 2006

I love Pe'ah totot!

I feel so makcik-makcik lah listening to Hetty Koes Endang and M Nasir non-stop!! Hahaha. Oh wells. Soothes the mind as well as heart :)


Anywhoos, i think GPA rehearsal today was kinda.. erm.. a waste of time? Haha! In the sense that we didn't get much done, but i did have alot of fun eating and joking and talking. heh. Arghmad the director no2 actually called Canadian Pizza and yuuummmm! 2 pizzas and 20 chicken wings to finish! Whahaha. -Burp- Thanks Arghmad!

I think we're screwed. Unless some shitass miracle happens :/


We did manage to watch the soccer guys go against some of the MOE teachers though. Pe'ah and I stayed only till half-time, afterwhich we decided to leave as she was meeting her boyfriend at Jurong Point.

Eh anyway right, digression here. How come the dung-dung-cheh (lion dance troupe) now consists of many many Malays ah? Pe'ah, Shak and I were buying some snacks at the petrol kiosk in front of our school, when this dung-dung-cheh truck stopped by for gas. And out poured dozens of Malays. Erk? Very miang and not hamsem at that! Hahhaa.


Pe'ah has seriously no shame lah. When i uploaded photos in my com, i realised that that girl actually took more then a dozen of self potraits. -bleargh- Her face, her hair, her legs. Chet! Needless to say i deleted everything except for the above. Anyway, thanks Pe'ah for being my listening ear. I lurve you very very much!

Faz, a J1 junior, tells me that i've matured over the years (That grrl went digging up my archives, i tell you). I decided to read them again, and i realised that i have matured over the past year. Wahahahha! Am currently feeling very proud of myself :)
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 7:53 PM

Phonecall.

We had an an hour long phonecall last night. Truthfully, i am thankful (that doesn't mean i'm happy) that we've went our separate ways.

He's changed quite a bit, in the sense that he's starting to sound like a certain someone whom i don't really have the hots for, while i, i just know that i'm disappointed and upset by a multitude of the things he said.

Anyways, we sorted out some shizz and i guess that's that. I, Nur Fadhilah, am not going to get back with Muhd Faris, for the next few years. "Huh?", you go. Well the thing is, if it's destined then i will get back with him whaaaat, but i'll make sure i won't in the next few years. Haha.

So i guess from now onwards, we will be just friends and nothing more then that, thank you very much. Yes, perhaps we will keep in contact, but it will be strictly as friends.

Anywhoos, i'm linking you SAJC-ians back, aight! It's time i really REALLY pack my bags and move on, cuz the plane's leaving and i might get stranded if i don't start packing. And that aint a good thing y'know, cuz the grass is definitely greener on the other side :)

Now to comfort myself. ENDORPHIINNSSSS, WHERE ARE YOUUUU????


Don't mind if i do :)

Faddy, no more zoning out. No more tearing silently. No more wishing things were the way it was before. No more hoping that he'd come back. No more emoing. No more running away from all nice but sad songs. No more doing all those shizz you do everyday just because you miss him.

In the great words of Antonio (or was it Orsino?),


posted by Nur Fadhilah at 7:33 AM

Friday, February 10, 2006

Slaps forehead x 10!

Faddy is getting SO forgetful! She forgot all about her phone again! My God. That makes it.. what.. two consecutive days?! Thank God i have friends who are so unforgetful. Chet! They did, however, make me holler the Spongebob Squarepants song so cacatly in the canteen before returning the phone to me (since Dana took it home yesterday).




I sure hope my abs can return by the end of 2 weeks :) I started my day with 20 situps, had PE (which we did lotsa running and pushup-ing and staircase-ing), sweated it out in badminton with the above 3 babes and later did another 50 situps whilst watching some show on Channel 5. Weeweittt!! Cayalah Faddy! - pats bulging tummy-

Oh yeah. Hazzy and I lost to Rhino and Dana. Boohoohoo! :(


Eh cute right? Haha. Don't ask me who the hell he is, cuz i don't know either. Was on the way home from school when this cute bugger sat two seats ahead of me, holding a kite and smiling so cutesily that i just HAD to snap a photo (oklah maybe a few as i couldn't get a nice shot) much to the amusement of the guy beside me, who must have thought i was a paedophile. Wahahha!!

Nyeah. Mr Gomez gave me the detention slip. 3 hours of doing menial jobs. This sucks! I've never been to detention before in my WHOLE LIFE okay?! Aiyoh. Stupid Faddy! I shall NEVER go to school late again. NEVER!!

Gema Puisi Rehearsals on Saturday, study date with Kimi on Sunday :)

PS. JC1s!! I know some of you are reading this, so how was your results? How How How?!

Ok bye.



posted by Nur Fadhilah at 9:37 PM

Thursday, February 09, 2006

Malu! Malu!

Ooook so i just did a very dumb blonde thing today :/ Was on the busride home, when it dawned on me that i had left my handphone at the table with the JJ mates. So i borrowed Adilah's phone (thanks babe), and hastily dialed


And suddenly my 56kb/s brain decided to spring on me that i had dialed HIS number. -slaps forehead- I know you're reading this, so yeah sorry. Heh. Put down the reciever and called my REAL number (after thinking for more then 5 mins what my number is). Thank God Rad picked it up. Haha. I never fail to amaze myself at times.

School today was alright i guess. Nothing remotely interesting other then Wei Zhong giving me this pink heart cum pen and asking me out for a movie for Valentines Day. Which of course, if you don't realise, is a joke. Oh wait. He did say "I love you" to me quite a couple of times this few days. Hmm. (Slap yourself 10 times if you think he really is asking me out. Chet.) hahhaa.

K i better bathe before i catch the fever since i just walked home in the rain whilst smiling to myself.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 3:38 PM

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Short entry.

I am very tired and hungry and sleepy and i still have 2 essay outlines to complete. Bleargh. This sucks. Shut up, Bed! Stop calling me! :/




Nyeah nyeah! I managed to complete 1.6km in 9:55 mins during PE today. Much better then what i've been running last year, but still a far cry from my personal 2.4km best (which is quite bad also lah)- 13mins something something seconds. Wehehe! By the end of the year, i will fly fly like the wind and finish 2.4km in under 13 mins. Yup!

Remember a few weeks ago i said my tummy was like this:


Well, after a week of working out every single freaking day, i have finally managed to compress it. YAY! Ok lah granted there's still bits and pieces of stubborn flabs but give and take 2 weeks and it'll be gone :) Happy happy I'm so happy!
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 8:21 PM

Tuesday, February 07, 2006

A week long.

I'm like so freaking relieved that the sajak (poetry) has FINALLY been completed, as in chop chop confirm no more changes! hahahha. YAY. The characters know their roles and their respective scripts as well as have them memorised, stage plans have been confirmed, costume blablabla :) All that's left is the rehearsals :/ aaaand we have... 1 week left? Shit. Haha.


We've decided to drop the narrator (thats me, by the way) and the mime as by allowing the characters themselves say out the lines would symbolise a sense of unity amongst them (chet thats SOOO cheem). haha. So yeah, i'm not acting anymore.


So Faddy's part in the GPA would be the person who wrote 90% of the sajak (hehehe) as well as the assistant-director. Ok lah tuuu. Kirakan the "behind-the-scenes" person, who, without her, the play won't even exist. Wahahah! :p


So basically i'm quite happy with the fact that everything is slowly but finally falling into place. I hope that we have fun and irregardless of whether we proceed to the next round or not, at least we know we gave our best and it was a great first shot at the event in the history of JJC. hahaha.

One week has gone passed without him by my side. No phone calls, no smses.. no nothing. A 180 degree total change from what i had for 20 months. There's no denying the fact that i still miss him and it kills me to wish that everything that has happened the past week was just a nightmare, but i gotta stay strong. Stay strong, Faddy. You know you can do it. -breathes-

TAGS WILL BE REPLIED DURING WEEKENDS :)
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 9:30 PM

Monday, February 06, 2006

Takes off her glasses.

Just one dream
to shatter this wall of glass
Just one stray thought
And im no better then the last.

In the midst of the ocean
I am surrounded
And yet all i feel
is empty and defeated.

And as the glass shatters
The water inside streams out
in turrents...
in turrents..
The water just won't stop.

In the middle of the ocean
I am drowning
In sorrow, in loneliness,
in huge disappointment,
I am drowning.

I thrash my hands about
Familiar hands reach out
I grasp - a glimmer of hope
And they slip
I fall
And into the water again
I drown.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 7:50 PM

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Gema Puisi Rehearsal.

First and foremost, I'd just like to thank God for the fact that Wak Tanjung didn't manage to get into the next round of the Pesta Pantun! Wahahaha. Padan muka kerek sangat! -bluek- Hehe. Ok, about today. *cough*


Since 2 of the characters couldn't make it, we had some difficulties initially in trying to figure out the stage plans and whatnot, but i guess we did manage to clear some doubts today regarding who's where and how to bring out each character. But i guess at this stage, i find the play ermm.. monotonous?


Due to that fact that most of our characters are doing soliloquays (i know wrong spelling. hehe), we have to have the actors/actresses to be super good in order to bring out the essentials of the characters their playing. Since most of us are still new in acting (especially yours truly), i think we need much much more practice in order to get the play right. Hmmmm.... InsyaAllah.


Fara, Pe'ah and I decided to head to town and then to Jurong East Library after the rehearsals to just dwindle some time away. We spent like 95% of the time joking and reminiscing past relationships etc while the remaining 5% was spent resting as we had used up too much energy. Hehe.


Retail therapy!! Headed to FarEast, where we had a ball of a time trying out new clothes and stuff. Keke. As you can see, the picture above shows a very demure and sophisticated Pe'ah, but what you cannot see are the pictures we took wearing mini-skirts and laughing our asses off at each other. (DUH im not posting them up)

For example, when Fara shoved me a long skirt and asked me to try it out, only to realise that it was actually size XXXL. What the hell. Am i that fat now??!! Ahh!! -Depressed- hahaha.

Or when Pe'ah wore a skirt the wrong way and i had to actually tell her that it was not meant to be worn that way. Haha. Ok lah not funny for you, but if you know Peah's character and mine, then you'll understand why :)


Jurong East Lib trip was meant for studying lah.. but thennn.. donowhat happened, the only thing we did was talk about our lives. Haha. Nope.. no gossips for the whole day.. only talking about our own pasts.

Fara: Eh where's my slipper?! Faaad you took it right?

Fad: I didn't lah! (Proceeds to stand up and jump around to prove that slippers are not with her)

Fara: Pe'ah!!

Pe'ah: I swear I didn't!

Fara: Ehh! Then where?! (Proceeds to walk around barefoot squatting to look under tables, whining, looking behind plants, between walls)

Pe'ah: Maybe the cleaner sweep-sweep then swept it away?

Fara: Eh ya ah! Oh man! How am i gonna get hoommmee? Like cacat right with one slipper?

Fad: heeeheeeheeee.

Fara and Peah: FAAAAD!! (Laugh hysterically whilst whacking me with the econs book)

Hurhurhur. The sweeper swept the slipper away? Going home with only one slipper when she can easily get a new pair at the shop nearby? Hahahaha. Hilarious. Should have seen the look on their faces.

PS. Makeover phase 1 (detox): Complete.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:06 PM

Saturday, February 04, 2006

Pesta Pantun! (Lots of Malay Content)

I think Kias Fansuri by M Nasir is like one of the best song ever. Been listening to it for 3 days straight on repeat mode and i'm still shaking along to the beats and singing to the lyrics. Wehehe!

"Siapa tahu
betapa berat cinta yang ditanggung
Sehingga dia sanggup lakukan
Biar apa saja demi mendapatkan
Restu sultan cahaya hatinya...

Tak sia-sia azam Zulaika
Bisa jadi cermin mengintai jiwa
Tak sia-sia mimpi Zulaika
Bisa jadi lorong insan bercinta..."

Alright Pesta Pantun time!


So basically my school had to compete against Innova JC as well as Wak Tanjong (which i've cut out the picture due to the fact that i'm still fuming with irritation). I think we did great during the first few rounds, but deteriorated near the end. Oh well. -Prays to God- Hopefully we get to at least proceed to the next round.

It was expected that that Madrasah will win, just like every year. But c'mon man, you don't have to look so pompous on stage as if you already knew the trophy is yours lah! Sheesh. I really felt like slapping that kurus guy whenever he roll his eyes. -breathes in.. out.. in..- And their female participant was being rather annoying, so when Zul said something like


the whole room just erupted with guffaws and applause. Wahaha. PADAN MUKA KAU! Kutuk lagi sekolah aku! -bluek-

Oh and for the minahs-minahs who went "Eh Fad! Who did you wave to just now? How come he knows you? Who is he?" (You know who you are lah eh. hahah),


Good news here! Irfan says if he gets attached to a factory near Jurong during the month of April, he's willing to coach us in Dikir Barat for a minimal sum, or even free, cuz he was attracted to our semangatness! Kekeke. Hopefully he gets attached near our school and hopefully Cikgu agrees with it and then you all can cuci mata more often. Hahahahha. (Psst Irfan don't kembang ah.)


Since the Pesta Pantun was held at the Bedok Library which was just a stone's throw away from East Coast, Rad and I decided to head there to study. And so study we did.. until we got bored.. then we went walking.. until we got tired.. then we went to wash-eyes.. until the rain started to get heavier.. then we went to the Esplanade library.. until Rad realised she was freaking late for her tuition.. and so we headed back home :)


By the way i think Skimming or whatever you call riding the small puny waves Singapore has is such a waste of time can? They run, jump on the board and 5 seconds later they're back on the sand. Where's the kick in that seh? Oh well. At least they have washboard abs. Hahah.

Aight so here are some random pics! (Psst J1s if you're reading this add me on Msn and pass me some more pics can? I didn't manage to take much just now. Thanks!)






For i am strong and i will survive.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:42 PM

Friday, February 03, 2006

The Day After The Day After The Day After. Hahah. Ok enough.

I can't believe i started bawling when i watched the News last night regarding low fat Kaya :/ Seeing the kaya being spread on the small rectangular toasts brought about so much memories lah! Freaaak. I can't even watch NEWS in peace now, Damnit. Now lets add that to the million other things/places that i can't do/go without breaking down. Bleargh!


I have, and will continue, to keep myself busy busy busy like a bumblebee every single day of the week. I'm really really thankful for the JJmates who have voluntarily stayed back till late to accompany me even though i told them that they need not. Aww how sweet! And so i've been lepak-ing, badminton-ing, poetry-ing, gym-ing and many other -ings that i have not done before. Er.. Studying? er.. Soon ok? Soon.. Haha.

After school today i finally summed up enough courage to spend time on my own at a serene place where i sought solace. I guess it was a good decision and i will start returning there every chance that i get. During the 3 hours i was there, met kids from Commonwealth Sec, Pioneer Pri, Mum's (nicer) friends and even the family of Sufyan (a Pioneer Pri mate) who actually remembered me! Phwoar. Even i took at least 5 mins before managing to recognise them. heh.

So yeah :) Pesta Pantun tomorrow and Gema Puisi Artistik on Sunday.

Finally Free - Comic Strip

Life is so pretty and faint
It stops the hurt but not the pain
Life is so happy and vague
Realized that I should give and take

I walked in a hurry
They said I was early
I'm stuck in the middle
In between me
I thought to myself
Sat back and relax
I'm running circles in my head

Haiyaiyai... Wanna be a butterfly
Flying free up in the sky
Without worries without Lies
Haiyaiyai...
Like a dolphin in the sea
There aint nothing bounding me
Coz I'm happy that I'm Finally Free....

Life's full of laughter and smiles
If it is only for a while
Life's full of sadness and tears
I wished they were never here

Living my life for all these years
I shed my tears I fought my fears
As I put in my very best
Put my soul to the test you see..

posted by Nur Fadhilah at 10:52 PM

Thursday, February 02, 2006

The Day After The Day After. Haha.

Boohooohoo! Faddy's caught the flu. Damnations. I caught it from Fauzi (my younger brother), i guess. If i'm right, then i might really be down for a couple of days with MC since he had 2 days MC and is still sick. Bleargh. I so do not want to ponteng school these days. I really look forward to it seh. Hahaha. Now that was weird typing that :/

School was normal i guess. I really love the fact that Mr Gomez the Teddy Bear (my Civics cum Economics tutor) is back. He just makes all of us cackle with laughter during lessons with his stupid lame jokes and the fact that he clicks with us.

That man is stinking rich lah! Everytime he explains a theory and has to use cash, he would take out notes from his wallet. Never have i seen him take out something lesser then 100 bucks. The other day we managed to hold a $1 000 note, and today, a $100 note. Chet. Some people have allllll the moolah in the world.


Since none of us had anything on after school, we decided to just hang out whilst discussing some MCS stuff together-gether. In between writing poetry and helping Dana to sort out attendance issues (isn't it soooo expected that Fara, Rad and I have the highest number of absent days? hehe), we managed to create a new game : "Char-ossip". Which was basically, Charade Gossip. hahaha.

Rightfully it wasnt gossip right since we didn't talk? Haha. So basically we try to convey bits and pieces of juicy news through our acting. hahaha. It was freaking hilarious. Fara was being the typical minah due to the fact that as she was busy acting, she was actually saying the words under her breath without realising it -.- No wonder Dana, Rad and I managed to guess everything. Chet.


We actually wanted to leave school by 4pm and head on home, but since we met Ady and Umar at the hall playing badminton, we decided to join in the fun. Man, its been a freakiingg long while since i last touched a badminton racket. Years even!! The Good Ol' Days ey?

But man. That session really allowed me to vent quite alot of my pent up anger. haha. I kept slamming and running around and falling over (almost) and whacking every feather that went my way. Haha. Felt darn good feeling sweat trickle throughout my entire body and my heart pumping adrenaline. Feeweeet. Thanks Ady for making sure that i managed to get some of the heat out :)

Hmm.. I think kan.. Fara, Dana and I either realllyyy suck at badminton or Ady is reallllyy good. This is how the 2 hours went:


Yup. While Ady (yellow dot) was sitting (SITTING i tell you) in the middle of his court, he actually managed to recieve almost ALL of our hits and at the same time make us (the pink dot and arrows indicate were we ran) run ALL over the bloody court. Seriously. How the hell can that even be possible?! Tsk. More practice, Faddy, MORE PRACTICE!!


But i guess the highlight of the day was receiving a sweet gift from Rhino which contained sugar-coated words written on postcards, a neoprint the 2 of us plus Birbirasu, as well as some chocolates and sweets ("They contain Endorphins!", she says). Managed to make me smile like a bugger for half the day, i tell ya. Thanks babe! -hugs-

So that concludes the day after The Day After :)

By the way guys and girls. I really don't want you to judge him just by this alone. Take the time to know him before you make hasty conclusions. Afterall, he was my main source of happiness for the past year or so and that speaks alot, doesn't it? -smiles- And please stop asking me to tell you what happened, can?

It's like... ah.. asking a rape victim to repeat what happened to her over and over again. I bet all of you have watched at least ONE episode of CSI or SVU or Crime Watch portraying rape cases and you should NEVER ask the victim to go through the trauma again and again. She just wants to get over it. And this is what I wanna do! Furthermore, its no use dwelling on the past. What matters is the future :)

Have i said that i slept like a baby last night? Got offline from catching up with Rhino and Birbirasu, bathed again, prayed and the moment i laid down on the bed, sleep came like it was the natural-est thing ever.

Mum was over the moon when i told her that i should be wearing the tudung full time once i get into the university. The expression on her face spoke a million words and it just spurs me on much more to really change for the better. InsyaAllah.
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 8:08 PM

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

The Day After.

I asked God to give me strength to overcome this bump on the road. I asked God to give me strength to continue life as normally as i could and I asked God to show me the light. And He did, by reminding me that even though i lost the one i love, theres tons of other peeps out there who still love me.

I am seriously very touched. Thank you Fara, Rad, Dana, Sang and Haz for cheering me up and making the day a much happier one. Thank you Lis, Yat and Nas for talking cock with me at 3am last night when i couldn't go to sleep. Thank you Ashrithaa and Claire, for deciding to give another chance yet again when you guys have actually thrown the towel. And i thank all of you who tagged or smsed me well wishes, such as Hakim, Kinky, Diana, Nurul, Ady, Momo etc etc. I love all of you lah!

So aight apart from emotional outburts early morning during PE, the rest of the day went rather well thanks to all those buggers who made it a point to make me smile. From commenting on my new jacket ("AA sia Fad come school in new jacket!") to roleplaying certain characters in school. Heh.






God even went so far as to make my bus journey home an enjoyable one! haha. As i plopped on the seats and started to emo, suddenly i felt a tap on my shoulder. I turned, Lo and Behold! It was my old primary school friend, Noreen. Haha. We see each other around the neighbourhood a couple of times, but suddenly today she started talking to me. Haha. So we did a bit of catching up and stuff :) It was goooood.

I hope this happiness in me is huuuuge enough to allow me to sleep well tonight. I really need sleep, man. Did i mention i did not sleep last night at all, and was puking everywhere early morning before i got to school? Haha. Which of course, explains my ah.. smell.. today. Sorry babes for having to endure that.

Yup. It still hurts everytime i see him laughing and being happy with that girl (in my imagination lah but i know its happening). It hurts so farakkiingg alot that i just start depressing everytime it enters my mind (which is very often). This added to the disappointment of 19 months being nothin to him. But... I guess I'm beginning to see the silver lining in the clouds :)

Dear God... Please continue giving me the strength i need so much. And i thank you for all that you've given me today. Alhamdulillah.

Bear with the current emo-prone Faddy for the next few days and perrrhapppss weeks, but i'll assure you a stronger and better Faddy will come out of this, InsyaAllah. And really, thanks for being by my side through thick and thin :)
posted by Nur Fadhilah at 9:41 PM

:: Editorial note ::



This is me before my hair frizzes up, okay? Haha :)



:: Faddy ::

17 goin 18.
Swinging single
since 31st Jan 2006 :)

Pioneer Pri ('til 00)
Commonwealth Sec ('til 04)
Jurong JC (current)

(MSN/Email)
nurfadhilah88@hotmail.com

(Friendster)
skategurl_88@hotmail.com



:: Sidelines ::

Syiok Sendiri.


:: Firefox Links ::

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*Favourites :)

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:: IE Links ::

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:: Archived ::

2004.
June. July. August. September. October. November. December.

2005.
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2006.
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:: Big Thanks ::

Blogger.
For the blog itself.

Wordpress.
For allowing the privacy which Blogger lacks.

CBox.
For making tagging efficient and easy.

Photobucket.
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Statcounter.
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Myself.
For stayin up late doing this template so dun anyhow copy hor! Whack you then you know :)


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